CG 25082005 - The Promised Land
Today had an interesting cg meeting. Kin Wee, Singing, Zhen Zheng, Changjie and Weiling were all blinded-folded at LT 6 and led by Jiexian and Michie to the "Promised Land" (rooftop of EA). And where is Mr Jan?? He din skip cg of cos... he is actually blind-folded also! "Blind-folded" in lecture... :( My mind is too tired to absorb anything from the lecture... as good as blind and deaf.
Okay anyway, back to the topic... so they are all led to the "Promised Land" in pitch darkness. I wondered how it feel to be in their shoes. So at the roof top, they were sharing how they felt during the walk to the destination. My mind was rather bloated and a bit annoyed cos my handphone seems to be spoiled. The receiving side cannot heard my voice. I sat down and listened. Some felt fear of falling down, some feel frustrated cos can't see anything, and all felt rather hot and sweating in the process. haha.. must be their hearts beating very fast.
Then later Michie was sharing abt some of her fears in taking care of people and she asked us abt our deepest fears. I tot it was quite an easy question.. but after some thought, I realised I had alot of fears in my life. Which one is the deepest?? Just when Zhen Zhong was sharing, I came to realise that I had a deep fear of losing faith in God.
At that moment, I teared. The roof top was dark, think nobody realise me wiping it off my eyes. I realised I really fear losing faith in God. And I mean REALLY losing faith.. not the occasional thought of backsliding during difficult times. But one that is really after evaluating, and realised that there is really no point in my pursue in God cos God is not real and doesn't keep His word.
As I shared abt it, I told everyone that if that day comes I might commit suicide. All these years, there are really alot of joyous moments with God, and there are alot alot of down times which God has faithfully brought me through. I have been so touched that there was once I told one of my close friends this, "if after all these happenings, I were to say God is not real, I won't be able to say it out" I really fear that day, when everything that I do really mount to nothing; when I think it pointless in my pursue in God. I dunno why I have such fear. But as long as now that I see, GOD U ARE REAL! We prayed at the end of the session, I really prayed that God will be faithful to me as He said he would, and I will not lose faith in Him.
To come to think of it, this might be the last cg together with Jiexian. Its really memorable. Jiexian, wanna say "thanks for your advice and guidance over the past 3 months, I appreciate your genuinity and sincerity. I am inspired by your faith and closeness with God." All the best to you from the bottom of my heart.
Today had an interesting cg meeting. Kin Wee, Singing, Zhen Zheng, Changjie and Weiling were all blinded-folded at LT 6 and led by Jiexian and Michie to the "Promised Land" (rooftop of EA). And where is Mr Jan?? He din skip cg of cos... he is actually blind-folded also! "Blind-folded" in lecture... :( My mind is too tired to absorb anything from the lecture... as good as blind and deaf.
Okay anyway, back to the topic... so they are all led to the "Promised Land" in pitch darkness. I wondered how it feel to be in their shoes. So at the roof top, they were sharing how they felt during the walk to the destination. My mind was rather bloated and a bit annoyed cos my handphone seems to be spoiled. The receiving side cannot heard my voice. I sat down and listened. Some felt fear of falling down, some feel frustrated cos can't see anything, and all felt rather hot and sweating in the process. haha.. must be their hearts beating very fast.
Then later Michie was sharing abt some of her fears in taking care of people and she asked us abt our deepest fears. I tot it was quite an easy question.. but after some thought, I realised I had alot of fears in my life. Which one is the deepest?? Just when Zhen Zhong was sharing, I came to realise that I had a deep fear of losing faith in God.
At that moment, I teared. The roof top was dark, think nobody realise me wiping it off my eyes. I realised I really fear losing faith in God. And I mean REALLY losing faith.. not the occasional thought of backsliding during difficult times. But one that is really after evaluating, and realised that there is really no point in my pursue in God cos God is not real and doesn't keep His word.
As I shared abt it, I told everyone that if that day comes I might commit suicide. All these years, there are really alot of joyous moments with God, and there are alot alot of down times which God has faithfully brought me through. I have been so touched that there was once I told one of my close friends this, "if after all these happenings, I were to say God is not real, I won't be able to say it out" I really fear that day, when everything that I do really mount to nothing; when I think it pointless in my pursue in God. I dunno why I have such fear. But as long as now that I see, GOD U ARE REAL! We prayed at the end of the session, I really prayed that God will be faithful to me as He said he would, and I will not lose faith in Him.
To come to think of it, this might be the last cg together with Jiexian. Its really memorable. Jiexian, wanna say "thanks for your advice and guidance over the past 3 months, I appreciate your genuinity and sincerity. I am inspired by your faith and closeness with God." All the best to you from the bottom of my heart.
posted by jAn at 5:37 PM
1 Comments:
Hey dear bro, really thanks for your sharing. :) It's something that's very real and something I deeply admire in you. Personally, think I can identify with you when u shared about your fear of losing your faith in God...
Really very touched by your sharing, dear bro. :D Continue to keep sharing, I'm sure God'll use this to bless many, many hearts in time to come. =)
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." (Deut 33:27a)
sMiLE!
YA
PS: Think you want to enable anonymous comments? So that other bros and sisters can enter comments too... =)
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